In the mid-80s, author Bruce Feirstein created a sensation by publishing Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche, a tongue-in-cheek book satirizing masculine stereotypes.

It stayed on the New York Times best-seller list for 55 weeks and sold 1.5 million copies first-run.

The greatest sportswriter of his time – or any other time, for that matter – the magnificent, Pulitzer Prize-winning wordsmith Jim Murray of the L.A. Times, picked up on the idea and took it out on the playing field.

“Real men,’’ he declared in one of his landmark columns, “don’t step out of bounds.”

Roy Finch is a real man.

“What’s he listed at?’’ gently jabs 6-foot-3, 341-pound O-lineman Derek Dennis. “Five-foot-seven and …?”

One hundred-and-seventy-one pounds. Officially.

Lugging around a manhole cover in each pocket.

“It’s kinda like a Napoleon Syndrome, man,’’ a bemused Dennis continues. “Roy may be the smallest dude out there but he stops for, bows to, no one.”

Photo by Johany Jutras

As much as anything, returner Roy Finch is a state of mind. A felicitous combination of speed and – a component that sets him apart from his rivals – an insatiable appetite for contact.

“You hunt,’’ Finch says, as if rattling off one of the Ten Commandments, “or be hunted.

“I’ve always had that mindset, that heart, that toughness, that swag. Let them (tacklers) fear me.  You initiate the contact and you’re not the one hurting.  Put fear in other people’s eyes. Not by talking. By performing.

“You want those other guys sitting in that film room all week thinking: ‘Wow. We can’t go 80 per cent or 90, even, against that guy. We need the maximum.’

“I want people to respect me. It’s a game of respect.”

Looking to extend their grip atop the CFL summit and chalk off an 11th consecutive victory, the Calgary Stampeders face a Saturday matinee in Steel City, at Tim Hortons Field, the lair of arguably the CFL’s pre-eminent return man Brandon Banks’ (give or take a Chris Rainey).

Right now, Finch is outstripping both of them, topping the CFL tables in both punt returns at 875 yards (13.9 a pop) and combined return yardage (1,960).

If Joe DiMaggio was Mr. Coffee and Reggie Jackson was Mr. October, Finch is the three-down game’s Mr. Instant Field Position.

“He’s played hard all year,’’ lauds special-teams coach Mark Kilam. “He’s taken what’s there, and then some. He’s strong enough to kick out of a tackle, break a tackle and strong enough to take a hard tackle.

“You always want a returner who gives his blockers hope – they’re out there working hard, too, after all – and can strike fear in the opposing team.

“He does both those things.”

Finch puts his junkyard-dog mentality down to being a military kid.

“Moving around, having to adjust to different places, adapt to different environments, you need a certain … attitude,’’ he reasons.

“Then when we moved back to Florida, in my sophomore, junior and senior years” – Finch was born in the wonderfully-named Niceville, Fla., a city of 12,000 located near Eglin Air Force Base – “the quality of play was a little better. I knew I had to raise my compete level.

“So I did.”

Photo by David Moll

During those years, before he went on to play in a major NCAA program at Oklahoma, Finch became a huge fan of Reggie Bush, now with the NFL’s Buffalo Bills.

At 6-foot and 205 pounds, Bush may be a bigger man but his style drew the young Finch in.

“I was a big USC fan when I was middle school, seventh or eighth grade. I remember Reggie Bush playing against Texas in the national championship … the passion he had, that made a big impression on me.

“And that Notre Dame game, when he had like 600 all-purpose yards. He just rose to the occasion. Punt returns. Kick returns. Running the ball.

“When there was a situation where another player might fold or be nervous, he was like: ‘Nah. I’m gonna shine.’

“Just balls to the walls.”

Maybe the most telling thing about Finch: The big men hunkered down in the trenches where the game is ultimately won or lost absolutely love the guy.

Defensive tackle Micah Johnson, for instance, might stand 6-foot-2 but no one will catch him looking down on Finch.

“There are a lot of players in this league 6-7 and 300 pounds and they’re soft,’’ says Johnson. “But Roy Finch … nobody could ever accuse him of being soft. He’s one of the toughest guys on this team.

“The types of hits he absorbs and never slows down is amazing to watch.

“What he does is legit.

“I’m shocked, man. You watch him bounce off the type of hits he takes and you’re like ‘Ewwwwwww, is this the one where he finally stays down?’

“And the answer is always no. He hops right back up.”

And plans on continuing to do just that.

“This year,’’ says Finch, “has been great. I came in unknown … well, I guess some people knew me from college … after taking a year off from football, and it’s gone good.

“You’re only as good as your last game, right? Well, my last game was a while ago. So I had to prove myself. Whatever role the coaches wanted me to be in, I accepted that and tried to be the best I could. When they say ‘We’re increasing your role’, I’m gonna be the best at that.

“Taking it in levels.

“You gotta stay humble. Every day.”

Photo by David Moll

The importance on a weekend of the return game in terms of position and emotional collateral cannot be overstated. Saturday, of course, features two of the very best.

But Finch doesn’t view this as a duel between he and the quicksilver Speedy Banks.

“No. Not all. I’ve been asked those questions before. I might’ve thought about it earlier in the year because I had to establish myself.

“Now, my mind is focused on my team, on our scheme. He’s gonna do what he do. I’m gonna do what I do. The goal is the W.”

Not that Finch won’t be out on at Tim Hortons, flashing that mindset, that heart, that toughness, that swag.

Real Men don’t step out of bounds. They also don’t back up, slow down or give an inch.

Real Men give everything in their power to make it 11 Ws in a row.

“When you see a guy Roy’s size play with that type of ferocity,’’ says Derek Dennis, “with that kind of heart and desire, it rubs off on everybody.

“When you see that, how can you do any less?”