“Brandon Bridge is falling down,
Falling down, falling down.
Brandon Bridge is falling down,
My fair lady.”

A slight twist on a beloved traditional English nursery rhyme could’ve passed as a sort of unofficial anthem this week for the CFL’s current quarterback nightmares.

Not that the Stampeders’ carnivorous defensive front can be conned into believing this particular Bridge will fall down easily.

“He’s, what, 6-5, 6-6?” marauding defensive end Ja’Gared Davis is asking of the Saskatchewan Roughriders’ fortress-sized quarterback on a sunny practice Thursday down at McMahon Stadium. “And a strong 6-5 or 6-6.

“This is not some lanky guy, some string bean. He’s powerful. If you’re going to bring him down, you’ve gotta have some weight, some girth, behind it.

“Long arms. Long legs. A guy who can throw a 60-yard bomb but is also able to take off and run a 40 in 4.5.

“He can be holding onto you while you’re holding onto him and still get off a 30-yard pass. With some guys, getting there is most of the work. With this guy, it’s only half the job.

“Then you’ve gotta find some way to wrestle him down.”

Venturing into the viper’s nest that is New Mosaic Stadium out on the flatlands, sporting a pristine 5-0 record, the Stamps aim to continue their searing start by opening a run against Western Division opponents on a high note.

Thus far, the Stampeder D has, it’s no secret, been pretty much impregnable, leading the league in sacks (16), fewest touchdowns allowed (4), fewest net yards in offence (243 per game), opposition first downs (75), turnover ratio (+13), fewest rush yards allowed, fewest pass yards allowed, etc., etc., etc.

The idea that they’re surrendering only 9.2 points per outing seems slightly this side of flat-out preposterous.
Officially listed at 6-foot-5 and 230 lb., the Toronto-born Bridge, though, represents a radically different beast than the majority of starting pivots dotting the landscape.

From raptors to a Rex.

“Yes, he is a big boy,” acknowledges Stamps’ interior stalwart Micah Johnson. “You’ve got to make sure you wrap up properly or chances are he’ll break the tackle. I mean, it’s one thing to get there, but you still got to get there and make it count.

“His size does present a problem.

“You want to keep him out of running positions. When he gets rolling downhill, gets outside where he’s able to use his legs, he’s strong so he can stiff-arm you.

“As long as we keep him in the pocket, we’ll be fine.”

“And if we can get a few sacks, all the better.”

For D-line coach Corey Mace, the trick is to maintain such a high standard of play.

“A big body, for sure,’’ he says. “Him and (Mike) Reilly and (James) Franklin are all big cats. Got a cannon arm but he’s also very mobile. Which presents problems not only for our D-line but the defence as a whole.

“We need to put pressure on him – don’t care how big or small you are, no quarterback enjoys pressure – force him into some bad decisions so the guys on our back end can benefit.

“Our job is to make his job more difficult than he’s ever seen before. Nothing personal against Bridge, that’s just our week-in, week-out mentality.

“He just happens to be the opposing quarterback this week.”

A sellout throng of over 33,000 awaits the red-and-white invasion inside New Mosaic. With all the din and hostility of the league’s toughest road venue.

Johnson, for one, simply cannot wait.

“Oh, I love going there,” he coos. “Reminds me of being in college. In the SCC you’d go to Florida, LSU, Georgia. Places like that. Hostile territory. Very hostile.

“Fans throwing stuff at you, 100,000 people yelling, screaming.

“Awesome environments. This, going to Saskatchewan, always reminds me of that.

“Hey, I like playing the villain. Give me that part every day of the week. I’ll take it. That gets me going.

“Good guys finish last, right?

“Football is a physical sport. Football is a bully sport. So sometimes playing the villain has to be your mindset, your approach.”

When asked which villain he’d prefer to be cast as, Johnson lit up with a smile.

“Well, my favourite character,’’ he confesses, “has always been Hulk. Love the Hulk.

“But –

“In this New Avengers, this Thanos beats him up pretty good.

“So I guess I’ll be Thanos. He’s real bad-ass. He goes hard.”